For the year you chose
Thirty arrives with a wider list than twenty-five did: partners you have met once, a cousin travelling, people who want the plan in writing. One page carries the tone and counts the yeses.
At twenty-five, a picture with the date typed over it is fine. At thirty the guest list has grown up. There is a friend bringing a partner, someone flying in, three people who want to know what time dinner is actually served, and one who will ask whether the theme is serious. A poster cannot answer any of that, and a group chat buries the answers under jokes.
What you need is the sentence you would have written on paper, plus somewhere for people to say yes and put their names against it. That is the difference between a thirty-first birthday you organise twice and one you organise once.
Four registers for the same party. Pick the one your friends would recognise.
Marta is turning thirty. Saturday 12 July, 7pm at the terrace room on Bell Street: food, music, and people we like. Come at seven, we eat at eight.
Thirty, dressed as our best decade so far. Come as 2016 or come as a suit, either is fine. Tell us which when you reply.
On behalf of Tom, who has agreed to be surprised: Saturday, 9pm, The Anchor, and a strict instruction about the candles until he arrives.
No speeches, no games. One very good pasta, a long table, and a bottle you did not have to buy. Thirty happens once, so we are spending it sitting down.
Thirty is a mood, and the mood is set by what you say first.
Guests add tracks from their phones before the day, so you get a list worth playing rather than a queue of requests at the door.
The page counts down to the first drink, which quietly does the reminding you would otherwise be doing by text.
The address, the nearest station, and where you actually want people to stand when they are lost outside the wrong door.
A livestream link slot for the one person whose flight fell through, so they are in the room for the toast anyway.
A table of thirty is a different number from a room of thirty. Take replies with plus-ones inside a limit you set, so a yes arrives with names against it rather than a vague we. Meal choices and allergies come back with the reply too, which is how you avoid discovering the vegetarian at the door with the starter already on the pass.
And the quiet ones: two days out, send the reminder to everyone who has not answered and get on with your own evening. The list tells you who is coming. Chasing them by phone is not the point of turning thirty.
How it works
Sign up and open a birthday event, or message Jitabi: I am turning thirty, twenty-five people, private room on Saturday, nineties theme, need replies and a song list. The draft arrives with the sections in place and you fix the wording.
Names, date, the theme line, arrival versus serving time. Below it, directions, dress, the playlist and the song request section. Nothing a guest can see exists until you publish.
The live link goes into the WhatsApp message and the email, and prints as a code for the two friends who still like paper. Password-protect the page if the birthday person is meant to be the last to know.
Yeses and plus-ones land as they arrive, meal choices with them. On the Thursday the reminder goes to the people who have not answered, and you get the number the restaurant wants.
Questions
Set your list and put the plus-one rule on the page rather than in a separate conversation with each guest. If the room is tight, say what you mean: seats for thirty, so tell us who is coming and we will confirm. Then the list is the number, not the optimism.
It often is. The honest tool for that is access: send the link to everyone but the guest of honour, and password-protect the page so a stray search does not hand it over. A draft is invisible to guests, so you can keep editing right up to the day.
No. One reply can carry a plus-one within the limit you set, with names attached, which is the difference between fourteen guests and twenty-eight. If the venue needs a hard number, that limit is how you keep it.
Add the playlist link to the page and open the song request section before the day. You see what the room wants early enough to cut what it does not, and nobody has to negotiate with you at the speaker.
Nothing to plan around. You start free and upgrade as your guest list grows, so a list of twenty-five and a list of ninety are both workable. The plans are set out on the pricing page.
Get Started
Build the page while you still have the venue and the enthusiasm. The replies arrive while you are doing something more useful.
